The Spork of the Gods

One utensil for both forking and spooning Made from super strong titanium Threatens job security of your other utensils

From Think Geek:

"Every mythic hero normally has an equally mythic weapon. Zeus had his thunderbolts. Thor had his hammer, Mjolnir. King Arthur had his Excalibur. Frodo and Bilbo had their Sting. Rhydderch Hael had his Dyrnwyn. King Kong had his bananas…you get the idea. It's time for you to join the ranks of the heroes and heroines of lore as you wield your own legendary weapon in your battle against a very powerful foe: hunger.

The Titanium Spork is ready for the challenge. Titanium is known for its great strength, corrosion resistance, and light weight, which makes this spork a valuable asset around feeding time. Imagine how much more food you could shovel in at your local buffet if you didn't have to worry about the strain of picking up a heavy fork or spoon. Your food consumption can become the stuff of legends. Even just holding the Titanium Spork in your hand, you can feel its power. It is perhaps the greatest gastronomic invention since lickable wallpaper.

Hunger, beware - your end is near!"

• The Spork of the Gods
• Useless Kitchen Stuff for Morons